Fearless or Fearful?
In part 3 of this Road to financial freedom series, we will look at facing your money fears and changing them to positive statements.
The truth is that we do need money to survive but we don’t need it to live. We spend our money on fixing things that are broken but we don’t fix the broken budget.
You have been busy identifying your money memories, now it is time to identify your money fears.
What do you fear?
What are money fears? Money fears are things that you are afraid will or won’t happen with the money you earn, such as, whether or not you will be able to pay the bills or your rent/bond.
It is worrying, about job loss, about whether you will be able to retire comfortably. Can you afford your kids schooling from crèche all the way to university and extra murals? Can you pay the doctor’s bills and all the rest?
These are the reason’s most of us work and, for some, it is the reason for staying in hated jobs. That’s called surviving, not living.
Over the last 8 months my passion became getting my life sorted and, along the way, something made it change a little and I fell in love with the idea of helping South Africans live better lives, not by helping them become rich, but by helping people find out about living and not just surviving.
Your best life
Oprah Winfrey had a series on her show about living your best life. She spoke about doing what you are passionate about. Now that is great if what you are passionate about is something you can build on while you are working at your earning job. This is what I am doing now! By day I work for an orthopedic surgeon and at night and over the weekends I work on this blog. Some, like my cousin in America, was able to quit her job and start her very successful cooking blog. www.4plates2table.com.
What’s your passion?
Your passions can change; my passion for more than 40 years has been nursing. I decided I wanted to be a nurse at the age of 5 and never changed my mind. It is who I am, not what I do, but with the changing of attitudes in today’s nurses, my passion for working in this field has faded. I have a hobby I enjoy and use it to make money. I make and sell custom jewellery online. www.Etsy.com/Adiesdesigns. However,it is not my passion.
I don’t pretend to be an expert on finance. We have been struggling to make ends meet for the last 17 years.
I am an average South African with the same worries that affect us all. I have so many ideas to accomplish my new goals that getting them down on paper has filled an entire 100 page notebook in less than 3 months. Putting these ideas into action will probably take me years.
The blog had a timeline, it was going to take a year to build my following and then another year before my first workshop or merchandising. However, I am already one year ahead and have booked my first workshops on menu planning. My first product, a weekly magnetic menu board is available at certain stores in Johannesburg.
The first step to changing your fears about finance from negatives into positives is one the self-help guru’s all tout, over and over. Make positive affirmation statements.
Sounds corny and it takes a bit of getting used to, but the more you do it, the better it works.
Are you rich?
There is a saying in Judaism from a book called Pirkei Avot (Ethics of our Fathers), “who is a rich man, the man who is happy with his lot”. Look at people, whether they are wealthy, middle of the road or poor. In general, not a single one is actually happy. Why? Because they feel that there is more out there or that what they have is not enough. They are not being greedy, they are simply giving in to their fears.
In Suze Orman’s book the “9 steps to financial freedom”, she talks about how she was earning all this money and yet still living like someone who had no money! She lived in fear of losing her job (she worked on commission), she felt she didn’t deserve to earn so much. Once she changed her attitude, she actually started making more money.
I started my affirmations after reading her book a second time, with a 15 year gap between readings. At first I felt like an idiot. I told no one about it, but one of my affirmations that I say every morning to myself, is “I make a difference”.
It is a statement that I have always applied to my profession and used to say over and over to my students when I was teaching nursing but was not something I applied in my own life. As a nurse I knew I made a difference but not as a tutor, or a mother, or a person, with a meaningful contribution to society.
I was recently told of a difference I made to someone’s life by an apparent act of kindness, which to me was not kindness; it was the logical action to take. I don’t even remember doing this but to the other person, I made a difference. I don’t feel so stupid saying my affirmations anymore.
The more feedback I get from people on the positive impact that this blog is having and the more this mantra is affirmed by others, the more passionate I become about the changes that can happen if just one person does something. Just read the book “Pay it forward” by Catherine Ryan Hyde, or get the video, if you need proof.
Start off with one affirmation statement. Your aim is to have three statements by then end of the month. The affirmation statements should not be self-limiting. ‘I am enough’, not,’ I will be enough’, they must be in the present tense. Every morning and every evening, in front of the mirror, say your affirmations out loud to yourself. Throughout your day, keep saying it to yourself, write it on a sticky note on your bathroom mirror, dressing table mirror, the fridge door, by your desk, make it your screen saver, tape the message to your steering wheel.
A contract with yourself
Lastly, write yourself a contract. Something small, but in line with your ultimate goal which you set in part one. http://kasheringyourlife.co.za/index.php/2015/09/06/are-you-on-the-road/ . If your goal was that you wanted to buy something and you needed to save up for it, write a contract: “I will put away at least R1 every day”.
This is an unlimited statement, it is not a fixed amount you are putting away. What about ‘I will do at least 15 pushups per day’, or ‘I will not check my phone more than once and hour’?
Your contract and your goal must be reasonable and quantifiable to be achievable. Don’t set yourself up to fail, start with the barest minimum that you know you will be able to accomplish, you can always amend the contract with yourself as needed.
For moms of newborns who are demand feeding, how about this contract, “I will put on real clothes every morning”?
“They say don’t believe your own hype, but if you don’t why would anyone else? To be great you have to believe you can do great things.” Charley Johnson